Friday, March 7


It's been hard to write here for a little while. With happy secrets and then crushing sadness and hopefully in the not to distant future, fresh beginnings. Early miscarriage is so common and so not talked about. I dont want to talk about it - and yet - I was frustrated that I couldn't find anyone else who had. I guess that's why we don't traditionally share the news until we're at least twelve weeks. I was eleven.
I was planning on switching to more and more pictures rather than words here but in all honesty I haven't picked up the big camera in weeks - and that was only to take pictures which now no longer have a reason to exist.
I feel a little too exposed here these days. Google my name and this place is the second thing to come up - and the nice thing about a blog, I always found, was a little sense of mystery and anonymity. Especially when you are watched, and what feels like judged, for your job.
Maybe I'll keep posting recipes and maybe I'll keep posting about the garden (its doing great by the way) and maybe, maybe I'll keep posting about country life. But for now being present is keeping me occupied, that, and the garden.

{Image from here, if this is your image I would love to credit you properly}


  1. I want to give you a hug.
    and I still love this space.

  2. Sending you a big hug.
    It seems to be such a hard subject to talk about socially, which is sad really because so many women experience it. I have had four miscarriages and had two healthy children and pregnant with my third. Each miscarriage I had wore me down mentally, emotionally and physically.
    It's not an easy thing to go through and it's hard to make sense of it and not blame ourselves.
    Take it easy dear lady.

  3. Ahh, Sophie. That is so hard and I'm so sorry. I think being present is a great goal for now and maybe, just maybe, the words will come back in time. Sending you lots of love and a big hug. Lxxx

  4. I replied to your comment on my blog, but wanted to say here as well how sorry I am - it really is so hard.

    Here are some posts written by women about their losses that you may or may not have already seen, but I thought you might find helpful:

    Lorna's story
    Meghan on A Practical Wedding (there are quite a few miscarriage posts on APW.
    Laura on her miscarriage

    Each of these women has gone on to have a healthy baby or is currently pregnant, and I can never decide if that makes it better or worse. The hardest thing, I found, was to keep hopeful though, so I hope these give you a little tiny bit of hope. Sending big internet hugs to you xx


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